I've been swearing at you a lot lately, and for that I'm sorry.
I kept seething that you and my body betrayed me when I realized that I have done my share of betraying you both.
It took me such a long time to honor my voice. I have a hard time facing the truth of things. I've had such a hard time with the communication of my feelings. So much has been swallowed for far too long and left festering.
Maybe the only way is to cut it from me, this blockage I co-created which manifested in your little butterfly shaped wings at my throat.
You are the truth center where my voice was too long stuck, you who have been cut from every feminine throat on my family tree, all the blood that went before me sitting in the same place of wonder that I find myself now.
Though I cursed and hid in the shade angry, terrified and sad all at once, I dug deeper still.
What truth needed to be set free? What needed to be said? What was the message in all of this?
Living embodied means being here with this and I'm here with you.
I'm scared, yes. Hopeful, definitely. Humble and reflective, certainly.
I wonder at the purpose of the body as a compass to show us when things go wrong where we are in correlation to what we truly want. We live in these forms for our stay here on this planet, these flesh homes that house our spirit.
In times of desperation we make promises that we will change. We will follow our dreams if only we have this chance, this one more chance. If there is a lesson in any of the things that we endure it should be to follow your dreams and our heart no matter what is ongoing and no matter the space in between.
In terms of Chakras, you are the channel by which all of the others are expressed. For too long I silenced what you thought and felt. I promise to honor you, cherish the truth you bring and to nurture you with expression from here on.
I'm not going to give up on you. It's up to us in the end how we handle adversity and I come from a long line of stubborn, strong willed women who were hard to kill.
I may bleed but I will not break.