Sometimes something on Facebook catches my eye and gets me into a place of deep thinking.
A friend of mine who I admire and respect greatly is in the same field as her husband. They run a business together, compete in their field in similar ways, train, promote and advertise together.
It always makes me smile and I love the journey they are on. Being one another’s cheerleaders, having each others backs. It had been a path that had been fraught with ton of unimaginable hardships, and they not only made it, they thrived. I love watching them not only honor one another’s path but root tirelessly for the other.
It got me to thinking about the world of my own relationships. I struggled to think of having that level of cheer-leading in my life in a romantic relationship. I’m not certain I could say that I ever had support levels like that.
Of course, there was a level of non-committal cheer.
The indifferent and complacent “hey, look you’re doing stuff and you seem happy so good for you.” The kind of disconnected cheer that comes from knowing that they didn’t really have to pay attention directly as whatever I was doing was babysitting me so their attention wasn’t required.
Had I ever had anyone that took an active interest in any of the things that I was passionate about? Had there ever been someone who gave me a standing ovation when I stood out or was I the only one doing the cheering?
Now, where I am in the here and now I understand more about energy and drawing things to me than I have in the past. You get what you believe.
We can’t show a false front and hope to get authentic images smiling back at us in the mirror.
These sorts of relationships show up like a giant wake up call to ask us how we are being supportive of our own greatness.
Did I believe that I deserved a cheering section, or was I still in the process of changing the guard from unworthy to worthy? Had I gotten so used to doing it on my own that I didn’t believe myself worthy of the cheering squad?
Was it a sign of the lingering affects of playing small and not wanting to be seen for who I truly was and be celebrated in my authenticity? Was I just taking it as a default setting that I was not to be cheered for by those close? But was I supporting myself?
Each of us deserves to be celebrated not merely tolerated. And it starts with our view of ourselves.
If those by your side aren’t cheering you on, check in with yourself to make sure that you are your own biggest cheerleader first. Like attracts like. We always need to be the ones that are our biggest fans, and when we start to see our worth, more people show up to celebrate authentically with us.
We need to be present with how we are feeling and use that as a compass to guide us before things get so out of whack we don’t know which way is up or down and we’re on a down-slide to detaching from our worthiness. Conscious connection with ourselves is the greatest gift we can give, to ourselves and to others.
Our lack of interest in our own emotional guidance system is a fast track to cutting ourselves off from our own deserving. I mean if we don’t feel like we deserve to be heard by ourselves, what chance does anyone else have to hear us or to be heard by us?
When we come to a place of believing that we are deserving of authenticity, which first begins with our own view of ourselves, we begin to shift the tides surrounding us. This affirmation of knowing moves our belief and in this change we begin to resonate with a deeper truth. The layers are being peeled back and this is the time to look deep within and see how this is rising for us in our lives.
When we stop being indifferent to our own deserving, people who are tuned to that truth show up.
So in the meantime, I vow to be my loudest cheering section and see myself as deserving, while I continue to open my life for those that see me without feeling obligation or indifference. After all, I’m already in the greatest relationship of my life with myself. I deserve it.