“Never let anyone contribute to the equation of your self-worth. No other opinions or thoughts matter. You are amazing exactly as you are, born deserving of all the abundance and blessings life has to offer; with a deep, ancient knowledge flowing in your veins and a unique, one of a kind medicine within you. Never let anyone convince you that you are anything other than magic” ~Ara
As we walk the path towards our truth, the sticky bits start to rise.
And one that is SO common is unworthiness.
Unworthiness is the toxic poison that keeps us stuck, chained and bound.
It is taught to us by a society that wants to keep us masked. We’re easier to control that way. When we don’t think we’re worthy and deserving of more, we’re smaller and take up less space. We’re quiet. We don’t make a fuss.
We become ghosts in our own existence.
Let me start by saying that you are worthy; your voice is worthy, your dreams are worthy and you are born worthy. You don’t need to do anything different. Right now exactly as you are you are deserving.
You are worth more than all the treasures in the world. Let me tell you that this truth within you is worthy and that the medicine of you in the world is valid and oh so needed.
Some of you still don’t believe me. So let’s get to some practical applications of how we can shed the skin of undeserving.
What can we do?
Stop saying you’re sorry.
(I’m Canadian so this is a toughie since we say it every two seconds FOR NO REASON).
We say sorry for everything whether we mean it or not. It’s a reflex but one we are trained on. Our mothers were sorry. Their mothers were sorry. It’s a whole vivid tapestry of sorry.
We hear the words that we speak. They become the spells woven on our skin. They leach into our spirits and become toxic. You have nothing to be sorry for. This anthem of sorry that we have been regurgitating has taught us to think that we have something to be sorry for WHICH WE DO NOT.
Drop. The. Sorry.
Take the air out of sorry.
When I’m in the store and someone thinks they’re in my way they walk by and say sorry. I always reply with “no worries, you’re perfect” or “there is room for all of us”. Which of course gets me some odd looks and the occasional grateful smile but the point is you take the air out of the sorry by deflecting it back to them with an added little bonus of reminding them they are actually perfect.
I mean it’s a store, there is room for everyone, but we’re taught to get smaller and smaller until we disappear entirely and our very proximity to someone else is something we should be sorry for.
So what about when you’re actually in the wrong somewhere down the line? Use your words and still apologize, owning up to doing something wrong isn’t the issue. Being sorry for breathing and taking up space is.
I know I seem to say this a lot, but this is really so huge. Watch your reactions and feelings when it comes to interactions with others and with yourself. What is the dialogue that rises? Are you hard on yourself needlessly for everything? What are you telling yourself?
Become aware of the way you are talking to yourself and how it feels. You’ll know it’s sinking into a place of not being worthy by the way it feels. When you start to be present and notice what’s taking place, take a moment to pull yourself back from the edge. Some people find success in using positive affirmations when they start on a down slide of thoughts that don’t serve them. Some find it beneficial to meditate, do yoga, talk to someone or to go for a walk in nature.
Once you start recognizing the feelings as they rise, you can tune into them and redirect the energy into something that nourishes you instead of poisons you.
Where is this coming from? We are taught that we need to play small and we need to swallow what we want. We’re told that we need to see ourselves different from how we are; we need to know more, travel more, dress different, change our shape and stand on our heads to be perfect so we can be worthy.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Everything that they tell you is garbage. When we start to reject the notion that we need to be anything other than what we are, we come into a place of taking back our power.
You are born worthy. I know that can be hard to believe at times, but it’s true. (And I’ll keep saying it until everyone believes me.)
Does that mean it’s all cotton candy, rainbows and butterflies?
Of course not, this is life not an animated movie. There is always a spiral unfolding and there will always be ups and downs and lots of sideways. But how we are within ourselves during these times sets us up for the unfolding of the next spiral. And if we’re hating on ourselves with unworthiness, then it can be a hard road forward.
They’re out there. Trust me.
I know, it’s hard to meet people who feel like they’re from your soul tribe (truuuust me on this I hear you. I live in the middle of literal nowhere.)
BUT the wonderful world of the internet has saved us! (Hooraaaaay!) With such a huge world opened up to us on the internet, even if it can be hard to find those who resonate with us in person, finding those even in the ether of cyber-land can give us a real sense of belonging.
If you live in an area where there are those that are in proximity to you that resonate with you or are fortunate enough to have some close to you that get you, surround yourself with them.
Once we really start to be nourished by those who see us for our truth, we start to demand that lever of awesome in our daily lives. That was one of the reasons the goddess circle, the sisterhood and the priestess awakening happens online, as a way of connecting people who may not be able to be together in spirit. And maybe some day they will meet in person but for now they gather around the cyber circle.
Yup. I mean it.
We get told we need to sell off all of our time, our space, our energy, our loves, our hopes, our dreams.
Can you imagine what the world would look like if everyone put themselves and what they held in their heart’s first? I can. (And it’s GLORIOUS!)
When we bury all that we desire, all that we are passionate about and all that we aspire to do, this is a huge fast track to feeding unworthiness. If we’re not giving the air time needed to our dreams who will?
Take back your time. Add things into your day that feed your soul. Take time to do what you love. Honor yourself and your process. When we reclaim things that fuel who we truly are, we are stepping powerfully onto the path of our worthiness.
Never forget that you are born worthy. And those that try to take you from that high place want you to be easier to deal with from a place of being small.
So take up some room and make it hard on them. And never give up your crown.