I’ve been so quiet.
There came a point with all the chaos, all the change and all the mess swirling around me that I lost my voice.
Me. The one who has been in love with words as long as she could recall.
I didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t feel intelligent.
My channel seemed broken.
I had threads blowing everywhere in the wind.
Normal seemed foreign to me lost on the tossing seas.
I felt like I could barely breathe with everything rising.
The family mess. The relationship shift. The bullshit I let myself believe.
The uncertainty everywhere I looked. The personal development. The ambitions.
I lost my voice. I opened my mouth and cobwebs flew out.
The words wouldn’t come.
“Bury yourself,” I heard a whisper say. “Bury yourself in the dirt.”
This is not a time to compromise and jump on anything that will sustain you for the short-term because of being stretched thin and feeling the tides of uncertainty, it said. This is not a time of staying in the compressed places that make you stay small.
This is a time of burying yourself so deep within your own soul when you emerge you will know the path written on your own spirit. We are our own compasses. Sometimes we get lost, but we are always found within.
Yes, you will fall. Let go of the idea that falling means you are failing.
Sometimes when we let go of everything we finally find what is worth holding on to.
Leave behind the thoughts of the world you knew and open your arms on the way down to everything waiting for you on the other side.
This is not the end. This is not the time where everything fades to darkness and the credits roll. This is rebirth.
This is your Phoenix song. It needs no words.
There is always flight after the fall. And you will always rise. No matter how dark and silent the night may seem.”
We can never lose our voice or our path, it is a constant within us that is ever anchored in our deepest truth.
Sometimes we lose sight of it in the chaos and the clamor of the shifting tides we ride upon.
But we can always find it again no matter what has fallen away and how much rubble we are surrounded by.
When we fall back into ourselves, clear away the outside noise and really listen, we are always able to return home to it once more.